Love, Friendship, and the Cultural Rules We Don’t Notice

One thing I have found interesting while learning about cultural psychology is realizing how many parts of our lives are influenced by invisible cultural expectations. Before this course, I usually thought about my relationships and friendships as being based mostly on personal choices and individual personalities. However, I have started to realize that culture plays a major role in shaping what we believe relationships should look like and how we interact with the people around us.

This connects to the idea of cultural scripts, which are shared expectations that guide how people behave in different situations. These scripts influence things like how friendships are formed, what qualities we value in relationships, and what we consider normal behaviour. Many of these expectations feel natural because we grow up surrounded by them, but they are often influenced by culture.

Growing up in Canada, I was exposed to many cultural messages that emphasized independence and finding your own path. This can also be seen in relationships, where people are encouraged to discover who they are as individuals and make their own choices about friendships, dating, education, and their future. There is often an emphasis on personal happiness and choosing relationships that align with your own goals.

At the same time, my family background has shown me the importance of connection and maintaining close relationships. Family, loyalty, and supporting the people around you have always been important values in my life. This reflects a more interdependent view of relationships, where identity is connected not only to yourself but also to the people who matter to you.

I have also noticed how cultural backgrounds can influence communication styles. Different families and cultures may express love, respect, or support in different ways. For example, some people may be more direct about their emotions, while others show care through actions, responsibilities, or spending time together. Learning about cultural psychology has helped me understand that differences in communication do not necessarily mean one approach is better than another; they often come from different cultural experiences.

Friendships have also helped me recognize cultural differences. Going to university introduced me to people from different backgrounds, and I began noticing that everyone has different ideas about family, relationships, traditions, and expectations. What feels completely normal to one person may be unfamiliar to someone else because they grew up with different cultural influences.

Reflecting on this has helped me become more aware of my own assumptions. Many things I considered “normal” about friendships and relationships were actually influenced by my upbringing, family, and the culture around me. Cultural psychology has shown me that our relationships are not separate from culture. The way we communicate, connect with others, and understand love and friendship is shaped by the cultural environments we grow up in.

Overall, learning about cultural scripts has helped me better understand myself and the people around me. Recognizing that everyone enters relationships with different cultural experiences allows me to be more open-minded and understanding. Culture influences not only where we come from, but also how we connect with others throughout our lives.